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Horselover42 · Aug 11, 2023 9:21 AM

Sorry in advance this may be a bit long. I am still technically within 20-25% of his weight....

So before I was born ( I have a twin brother btw ) my mom got into mini horses and ponies. She had grown up riding lesson horses and random horses that her dad bought her or a friend had, so she had some experience. When she discovered that she was pregnant with twins ( me and my brother ) she sold the four that she had at the time ( she did halter and driving classes with them ). Once she had us, She decided to buy back her favorite pony Quake ( show/ registered name: MB's Aftershock ). Since he is a modern/American shetland, he has hackney lines. He is high energy and not a kids horse, so when I started handling him (I was 7 at the time) he would drag me anywhere and everywhere. I took lessons on other horses because he was so crazy, then in the middle of 2019 i had my first fall when attempting my first canter. It wasn't bad but it affected my confidence so much that i would cry even if the horse I was on wasn't even moving. Once Covid-19 hit, I took a break. Flash forward to a year ago my mom found me an amazing trainer with amazing horses, including a 21 year old mare who taught me how to ride again at the walk, trot and, eventually, canter. She changed my life and I will never forget her, though she recently passed. 7 Months ago I got into riding her arabian dressage horse. A few months ago he had gone lame, so I rode my trainer's mare, Penny. Penny is also an arab, but by no means calm. It took me so long to get to where I was at the time (I cried many times), But Penny decided to bolt on the trail, causing me to fall. This destroyed everything I had worked so hard to get, so I was stuck at a very slow trot for a few weeks. Now I can confidently say I am (Almost) back to where I was before. Now that your caught up, Back to Quake. I am 4'11, and he is 11.5 hh, so obviously there is a size gap. I did much research on it, and I am almost exactly 20% of his weight but much too tall. I never got to ride him so now that my window to do so is closing, I want to. My mom always says I will get to at x time or day but it never happens. I did get to sit on him recently and I will post a picture later, and it was fun. love him and he will always be my heart horse, but I am a little sad that he is to small for me to ride. My mom would probably never let me drive him as "We don't have time", or "I don't see the point". My dad disagrees and thinks she should let me ride him, but will never stand up for me.

Omg if you actually read this whole thing than you deserve a cookie or something wow. Also this is super condensed, missing much important info, Like how my dad has worked with horses or how my mom had *Many* minis before the four she had when she was pregnant. She showed them at national levels in halter and driving. Sorry about how long this is if you have any questions than feel free to ask!

Horselover42 · Aug 11, 2023 9:26 AM

Sorry I can’t figure out how to post the photo

EasternShowBarn · Aug 12, 2023 8:37 PM

I’ve been in a similar situation when I was younger. My mom had tons of horses and would never let me ride or really interact much with them unfortunately. When I did finally get a “horse” of my own it was a mini stud colt that she hated. I went against her wishes and did a lot of in hand work and he was super sweet and probably the friendliest little thing until she sold him out from under me.

I now have a 13.3 mare, roughly 700lbs. I’m 5’6 but I’m under the 20% in weight for her but I just feel too tall. I do a lot in hand with her. She can do a handful of tricks, I take her on walks with me and my dog once in a while and when I do ride we just roam around on trails or do fence. I’ve semi retired her as I just feel that’s it’s unfair for her to put up with my height for long periods of time. I always say there’s way more to a horse than riding!

Horselover42 · Aug 14, 2023 2:16 PM

I totally agree @EasternShowBarn! My dad worked with stallions at medieval times as a first job, so he has a lot of experience with handling and riding horses. He wants my mom to let me ride him, but when I ask and she says no he doesn't stand up for me. Quake (The pony) was trained to show at liberty, in driving classes, AND halter, but I know that she'll never let me do any of that. What she does is I'll ask if I can ride him and she'll say yes, but then when I ask a few weeks later she'll snap at me with "Omg. No." and then give a reason like "Not today", "We don't have time" (Trust me, we definitely do) "I have homework" Which she doesn't do until I go to bed at like 9 pm (She does online collage because her job pays for it), "No we have to make dinner" ect. I just feel bad because I never pester her, and my dad wants to buy me a cheap ebay saddle and stuff but also never gets to it. Hearing your response really helps!

Horselover42 · Aug 14, 2023 2:27 PM

Also Its not like we don't have equipment. We have a bareback pad, saddle pad, girth, and TWO bridles + one set of reins. I struggle with talking to my mom about it, as I get emotional and cry. I hate the fact that I cry so easily. Also yesterday I fell off of the lesson horse, and I have a history losing all of my confidence when falling and having to start over. I don't believe that I will have to this time, as I have worked so hard to get to the point I was at in the lesson up into the fall. I am so proud of what I achieved in that lesson (The longest canter I have done, at 5 laps both ways without crying or stopping, almost perfect diagonals in posting trot, trotting right after getting back on ect.) and I don't think that this will be a setback, but my mom probably does and I have trouble communicating this stuff, so this will make it even harder to get her to let me ride him.

EasternShowBarn · Aug 14, 2023 8:19 PM

I 100% get where you’re coming from! I started out that way and man was it hard. Any time I did anything wrong, riding or otherwise, my mom got super aggressive and cut me off from the horses. I was a working student for a year and I gained SO much confidence just from seeing the progress in myself after just a month of riding consistently. One of the many reasons I stopped riding there after a year was because I fell off a clients green horse and got a bone bruise on my ankle and couldn’t walk for two days. I got back on him but I was crying the last 30 minutes of the ride due to the fact that I’d failed and the adrenaline from the fall wore off. I continued to ride for another couple weeks, but my own personal horse (who was at the barn to train and sell) got hurt immediately after and just after bringing him back to work I was able to find someone who wanted him. Less than two days after that, the clients horse was sent back to her.

The only way I was really able to ride when my mother had been around was just going out, getting on my pony, leaving my phone behind and just going out on trails for hours. I’d dealt with the repercussions after the fact. After she left, I had to really regain my everything to get myself to ride without feeling guilty.

I know it’s not the same situation (and I hope no one ever has to go though what i did just to be able to ride) but I do hope your mom lets you ride him. Maybe it might be worth trying to convince her that you’ll only get better if you ride more consistently, whether it be more lessons or letting you ride your pony. The more you get to ride, the confidence in yourself, and your riding ability will continuously improve.

AHayesHorses · Aug 15, 2023 5:49 AM

Just remember, the 20% rule is old and outdated from old calvary days of horses carrying soldiers and equipment for miles all day, every day. It is completely non-relevant to todays standards. As long as the pony is sturdy and comfortable carrying you, ride him :) You will know if it's too much for him but I almost guarantee he will do fine. And I have seen tall people ride short ponies many times and the only issue is making your stirrups a comfortable enough length haha Just go for it! Make sure you have a good saddle that fits you and the pony properly and all should be fine for a first ride to determine the pony's capabilities :)

Ammit · Aug 15, 2023 6:16 AM

Parents are just people and can be as caught up and overwhelmed and bad communicators as anyone else. Dad may not see it as his place to get in the middle of this. It's not his horse. As for your mom have you sat her down and just asked her why she does not want you to ride Quake? It kind of sounds like you are a young and timid rider on the green side and he is really hot. If I was in her shoes I would be very hesitant to let my daughter ride him in that situation. It sounds like a bad combo. Clearly, she is not communicating the situation well, but as I said, parents are people too and like anyone else, they are often bad at articulating their feelings. She may not have formulated her feelings into something she knows how to talk about yet. Maybe she is still grieving what she lost from the horse world to have kids and doesn't know how to deal with it yet. The point is this probably isn't happening as an attempt to spite you. Your best bet is just to calmly talk about it.

EasternShowBarn · Aug 15, 2023 3:17 PM

I agree with Ammit. I must have missed the part where you said he wasn’t a kids pony.

Horselover42 · Aug 16, 2023 10:54 AM

I see where you are coming from @Ammit! And I apologize for explaining this badly. Quake is and has never been a kids pony, but my mom specifically said that he won't really care and I can ride him. I agree that there are probably other reasons, and it really is nice to see other peoples outside views and opinions. As Quake has gotten older (He's about 16) he has mellowed out, and as I've grown up working with him I can now control him way better. Whether its working a spook out of him in hand or dealing with his antics, I have learned how he needs to be worked with. Though he is still not a kids pony, I can confidently say that I have grown to know him and all of his quirks, and can handle him well. I do see where your coming from about my mom, and I know it has never been to spite me, it's just hard for me because it hurts how much work i've put into him. Since last summer, I've worked so hard to get him where it would be safe for both him and me to ride. I worked on his gaits at liberty, desensitization, respect, responding to vocal aids, responding to pressure to the bit, stopping from walk and trot, extending and shortening the trot, controlled gallop, conditioning, accepting the bit after not wearing one for like 10 years, leaning on his back, among so much more, all from the ground. I have also worked so hard in my weekly lesson to better my riding skills so that its not too confusing to him when I eventually ride him. It's just frustrating to have put countless hours and tears into this horse just for her to say "Maybe when it cools down" or "Maybe next month". I love my mom and what you have said really helps, its just frustrating to me. I do see how she would be hesitant, but 3 years ago when I first lost all confidence she was telling me how I should ride him and how he would better my skills. Now she is way more work and school oriented and acts like Quake is a chore. I agree with Ammit and will try to work this out. Thank you for all of the input and advice! It really helps!

Ammit · Aug 16, 2023 10:58 AM

Best of luck talking things out with her!

Horselover42 · Aug 16, 2023 9:05 PM

I found some VERY old youtube videos of Quake! They're from when he was very young, so he was way hotter back then. There is even a sales add from when my mom sold him for 6 months! Enjoy, as I'll post those. These are very old so sorry in advance for the bad quality, also because my mom didn't have anyone filming her.

Quake sale add:https://youtu.be/EFMVGgChBPE

Working on cart training:https://youtu.be/jibsbOAb4A0

Quake being a fancy guy at a show (When he was a stallion):https://youtu.be/UeccL32xPpc

Quake playing with a jolly ball:https://youtu.be/pUpcdvB-CqM

Quake doing his fancy show trot in slow motion:https://youtu.be/2cvEtihDgCU

OMG I just found a video of when my mom first got him:https://youtu.be/nOEwd4vpGmA

Those are pretty much all I could find of him when he was younger. The way he moves in these videos is perfectly normal, as he is an American shetland, which is crossed with the hackney pony, and they naturally move like that. Now that he is older he only moves like that when he's exited or spooks, but it's just so pretty when he does. Another thing that I forgot to mention is that he is registered as (his show name) MB's Aftershock. Also he is very young in these videos so he doesn't really look exactly as fit as that anymore.

Wildland Acres · Sep 12, 2023 12:49 AM

A thing with he hasn't been ridden before... I would be scared about letting my kid ride a hot pony that has never been ridden before... And doesn't riding a halter horse hurt their standing as a show horse? It really sounds like Quake isn't really a childs or riding pony and she should be allowed to keep him that way if she wants if you have another horse to ride

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