HGG Community Forums

the great thing about this game is that pixel ponies don't care about their creators sexuality. (and horses in general don't care about their people's sexuality, just food and good scratches/rub downs). so you do you and be proud!

-An Ally

Im so proud of you hun :x @};-

Chase - you are valid. Your feelings and your gender is valid. I see you and I hear you. Be as loud or as quiet as you want about who you are and know that You. Are. Valid. You are loved. You matter.

I had to move to a different state just before I started junior high, and in the new school kids declared me a dyke the very first day. I didn't even know what they meant for a long while because the kids I grew up around just didn't use that kind of language and neither did my family. I had always been a serious baseball-card-carrying, war playing (and winning! :D) tomboy who had my own bat and BMX bike, no helmet, and knew much more about G.I. Joe and He-Man than She-Ra unless it was a question about She-Ra's horses (the white one was Storm, the blue Arrow, and the pink was Spirit), but I knew half a dozen other girls the same way and nobody treated us differently.

In my new school, gender roles were suddenly very rigid and even teachers made nasty little comments about me dressing and acting too much like a boy. I didn't do the whole pretty clothes, nails, makeup, and giggling over boys thing, and I had no intention to try it out. I had a mullet, wore ratty jeans and tshirts with an Atlanta Braves baseball cap, and I was real popular. *sarcasm* By the time I hit high school I could have kissed a guy in front of a hundred witnesses (did once, though not many noticed) and they still would have been very sure I was the only lesbian in the school. I wasn't. I now know of four people in my classes then who were so deep in the closet that they got their sunlight by special delivery, but I wasn't one of them. I had several serious crushes on guys in high school, I had just been cut down and stepped on so many times that I would never admit it to a soul.

Fast forward ten years, and I had completely stopped socializing in person except at horse-related events or with a few friends I trusted. I had my horses that were my life, my dogs, and I played games on my computer when the weather was bad, one of them what I first though was a sort of sim city competition but later learned was a highly social wargame where a guild would fight together as a team against other guilds. My name on there was Saddletramp, which, yes, was not my best choice once I learned about the social aspect, but by then I had found out changing it cost real money so it stayed. :P Girls were scarce in that game and it seemed like everyone I talked to trying to find a guild only wanted to know "asl?" and then to try to hit on me. I was completely on my own for a couple weeks before I got mad and got in the "world" chat one day and said I wanted a good guild that wanted to play the game with me, not try to hit on me, and that if that didn't exist I'd just call it done and find a new game. Lol A guy called Raider who was running a tiny but fierce guild popped up and said he'd boot anyone in his guild who acted like that towards a girl, so I told him to invite me and prove it.

So began the multiple server saga of Raider and Trampy (what Raider dubbed me so he didn't have to type 'Saddletramp'), who were pretty much equally liked, though nobody was ever scared of me in battle like they were of Raider. He had my back from that moment on though, and was one of the main instigators to me checking in one morning and finding out I was elected leader of a much larger merged guild while I was asleep. All of my closest friends had gotten elected as officers, and when they put me forward to lead nobody argued. Lol I didn't get a vote, which became a theme. Whenever they knew I'd argue with them they did things while I was asleep, like the first time we won the Imperial City (think server-wide battle for a huge castle) and they got a fairly large amount of game cash together to rename it 'Trampy's House' while I was snoozing after the battle. I fussed at them about it at length in public the next day, as they knew I would, and then Raider told me I should know I don't ever get a vote and to get busy finding him somebody to kill. :))

That morning led to several major wars because of battles that day and things that were said, even one epic war that stretched across multiple servers before we finally won decisively enough the other guild stopped following us to try one more time to beat us. (They never did. :D) It wasn't long after that before Raider quit because his favorite enemies were all gone, and then a couple other guys I was close to stopped playing too so someone felt it was safe to start harassing me constantly on all of the servers where our group was still active. The guy doing it was using throw-away alts made with randomly created accounts so reporting him didn't help (it took me longer to report and prove what he did than it took him to make a new account!) and he was just always there sending me messages from new names. After a few weeks of nasty messages every time I turned around I just wanted out. I told the guild that I was done, put someone else in charge, and I disappeared. I made a new account and started a new server alone for the first time since I had begun playing the game years (real life years!) earlier and viola, I was a guy nobody knew. I've always been butch anyway so it wasn't difficult for me to pass as guy online, but I learned pretty quick that guys get random strangers hitting on them too. Lol

I finally got word the guy who had been harassing me was traced through his ISP for hacking and got really and truly banned. I went back to my old servers but by then I was only playing to hang out with my friends, which was why they were playing, and then a new update came out that made the game more about how much you were willing to spend than about skill, so we all just called it quits. Some of the guys I'm still in contact with now, but most quietly faded away into internet anonymity.

It wasn't until years later in a different game that I finally figured out a solution to being hit on, one that still works for me now on the rare occasion I get propositioned. When I played Wartune I was a girl mostly. I told women who hit on me that I was into guys and told the guys that I was into girls, and then the word went around I was into neither, or maybe both, but either way was sure to publicly mock anyone who didn't take 'no thanks' for an answer. :))

I liked Wartune, there was a lot to do and a sword and sorcery type RPG is just my speed, but it needed unlimited internet so I can't play anymore. This is my only game these days, and I love how very Cheers it really is.

"Making your way in the world today,
Takes everything you got.
Taking a break from all your worries,
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go,
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came.
You want to be where you can see,
That troubles are all the same.
You want to be where everybody knows your name."

And yes that was rambly and got kind of off topic (I do that, it's a thing) but it's after 6am and I haven't slept yet and y'all can have it all anyway. I'm pretty sure it was reasonably lucid. :))

Spry/Chase. First before all else, stay safe. If you are a minor living at home, things may take time. You know your family best. However, if you are an adult, life is way too short to spend even a moment of it being anyone other than who you are. No matter who or what you are there will always be haters. Leave your flags up. Some will be OK with it and others won’t, but don’t let them make that your problem. It is their problem. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you for who you are. Those who cannot accept you for who you are now, may learn to accept you in time, or may never accept you. Be you and give people a chance to like the real you. I accept you for who you are.

Oh Chase, everyone has the right to be who the are and not have to make themselves someone else for the people around them!! If your friends and family love you they are going to love you regardless of your sexuality. I like everyone else here support you, and I am so proud that you are staying true to yourself, cause in the end that's what really matters. We love you, no matter your sexuality, and that goes to everyone on this game and in this forum!!! ❤

Happy Pride, Chase! Where does the name Spry of June fit into all this? Are you going to change your username to match your real one? I'll send you the cash if you need it!

I'm not to subtle about my way of life. I've been married to my wife for over a decade.

*hugs*

I spent middle school and high school in Texas. I also grew up a tomboy, and never really looked at what I wanted for my own sexuality til my first marriage fell apart. Lo and behold I am a pansexual. This is something I've been told is a mental illness by members of my extended family. Turns out, as an adult, I don't need their approval to be happy. I do need space from them though. So I moved to Minnesota with my son. I'm still in a passing relationship. 16 years strong, but now with a man who knows and accepts me for who I am. It makes all the difference. While finding our clan is easier online, we are everywhere. Welcome to the clan Chase <3 I hope you find your forever family soon, and the ones you were born to continue to support you in the best way they know how.

I'm so proud of you! You are valid. You are human! Dont let people get you down! You are a great person with a great heart and never hesitated to help me out when I was going through my tough time. What's in your heart is what's important, not your gender! When I was 17 my parents sat me down and told me it was ok that i was a lesbian and they loved me no matter what (I'm not, they just assumed because I was so tomboyish and wasnt into any of the guys in school. And that 90% of my friends were LGBTQ+) and I had to explain to them that the people I hung out with were some of the most accepting, encouraging, wonderful people that I'd ever met that I just preferred their company over everyone elses. Be you, be proud of who you are, and please be safe!

@SpryOfJune ....Yeah, I'm sure that was much more relevant to me in my sleep-deprived state, but not so much now. Sorry. :))

You know me. I do know where you're coming from, I promise, and have lots of sympathy for the family that can't accept you. My dad never accepted me as I am and actually the last thing he ever said to me was a mean remark about the girlfriend I had at the time. (Ten years with her and then one day about a month after Dad died just poof, hi, I've got a new boyfriend, I'm not into you anymore. Lol) My mom tried to at least pretend she was supportive, but none of it made sense to her and she said things often that hurt, completely unaware of what she was doing. My big brother is the only one who has had my back all my life, supporting me and doing his Semper Fi thing on my behalf anytime he thought I needed it. Best. Brother. EVER.

So yeah. You be as you as you can stand to be, and don't hate yourself for editing the you that you show some people. I did it for many years, and the biggest thing I learned was it wasn't the editing that was bad, it was how I treated myself because of it that needed to stop. Life's too short to treat yourself bad just for trying to avoid a fight.

There's enough fighting in this world. ❤

@SpryOfJune Oh yeah, sounds like home did when I was your age. I feel for you. Don't let them rain on your parade!

And honestly, rereading that ramble I posted, about halfway in I was thinking nobody wanted to know any of that and i needed to learn to sleep at o'dark thirty and not run off at the fingers. Lol

Oh my god, congrats chase! It's been a long time coming. :x

All I have to say is... You're an amazing person, and if someone else thinks otherwise because of who you choose to love/or what you identify as, then they should keep to themselves.

I myself have one transitioning friend (female to male) and I am bisexual- the only person I ever came out to was my mom and my friend (I believe I may have told you before?)- so I know how hard it can be.



Edit: my Inbox will always be open for you.

@MariaChapinFarm3, thank you, for all.
And I don't remember if you've told me. I've been so consumed in my own things here, I can't think right anymore.

Ammit, thank you. Any community you build, I choose to be part of.