HGG Community Forums

I’m sorry for your suffering.

While it’s not the same situation I do understand what your going through. In February 2017 I fell at work (while standing still) and broke my arm where it joins my wrist. I went from being completely independent and strong feeling to being unable to complete simple tasks.

The bone has since healed but I still don’t feel as strong and steady as I did before the accident. My friends and family also don’t share my love and passion for horses and since I had to rely on someone else to lift the saddle it was a struggle to find someone to go out to the barn with me so I could ride. So it took almost a year to really get back in the saddle and I struggled with my confidence worrying hat he’d pull on my hand and reinjure it and set me back to where I was.

My barn used to be very bustling with 10-14 horses boarded and a riding instructor was doing the chores and holding lessons at night so it was always filled with people and movement and wasn’t hard to find people to ride with but she got her own farm and has left and now there is just 2 other boarders besides myself. 1 of which I haven’t seen for years because he comes once a month to drop the board off at the house. And the other is on just as funky of a work schedule as I am so we always seem to be missing each other.

Last year I ended up working 2 jobs with the 1 being a show barn 1.5hrs from my home so I was gone most of the summer and only showed at 1 show in the fall which was a disaster from the moment I got to the barn to get my horse loaded.

Since then I’ve ridden 3 times because I just can’t seem to find the momentum to get started and when I do go I feel frustrated because I still struggle with tasks that were second nature and there’s no one there to remind me if I’m starting to slide into bad habits (like before when the instructor was there she’d yell out comments to whoever was riding to fix this or that). Without a trailer or a truck going to a trainer was difficult and the closest ones (instructing or showing at the level I want to show at) to my location was an hour or more away. So by the time I add mileage and pay for the extra travel time for them to come to me it was too much for an hours lesson on what I was making at work.

Along with the breed shows I want to get back to showing at are 1.5 hours away and I am now the only rider in the barn who has any desire to show.

Last fall I got a promotion and had to replace my vibe and got a truck so the possibility of being able to show when I want has increased but I still struggle with wanting to show but not thinking I’m going to get good enough to actually show.

Well I know how you both feel. I had a horseback riding accident 8 years ago. Even though I am back to riding my horses. I am not the confident person I was before the accident. It left my permanently disabled. It messed my memory up to where doing simple tasks is hard for me to do now. I have bad headaches and migraines. Even though I want to show again I k ow deep down I won't be able to place. So not sure if showing is something I can do again. I will tell you this don't give up.
I rode this past Wednesday with my friend on her horse and 2 hours in the ride I bailed off of her mare. We were on the road and her mare wasnt doing anything wrong but I got in my head because of a bulldozer. I bailed and walked her mare a ways past that bulldozer. I was crying and upset at myself for not staying on her. Even 8 years out that accident still has power.
We have to keep going. My friend she pushes and encourages me to keep riding. I try to ride on my good days. If I am having a bad day because of my seizures or my migraines sometimes just watching my 2 horses in pasture is a comfort in itself. Never feel like a failure. We aren't failures at all. We keep trying and encouraging each other to do our best with our horses.
Both of you will show again. You may have to start over at the novice level but dont let that stop you. I believe you both can go where you want to as far as showing.

best friend if you lived closer (If I remember from previous posts your american? I’m in Ontario Canada) I would totally tell you to come join my club (I sit on the board of directors for the saddle club that I’ve been showing at when I can) it’s the perfect place for people new to showing or trying to get back into showing after an extended break or injury or confidence breaker.

We are one of the only clubs in the area that focuses more on horseman’s rather than just speed events. We have the games classes but not the gamer numbers that other clubs in the area have. So our Classes are bigger for halter, hunter under saddle (without fences), trail, western pleasure, and horsemanship although all of our classes are on the small side and we often have extra time and judges that like to give pointers on what could make newer riders classes better.

Bandit, I have seen the eventing instagram posts for Ontario and I saw you guys are still getting snowstorms. (Duh, chaser, they are really far north) But I hope you get spring soon! We are kind of getting it here in Virginia, but it keeps going back to torrential downpours that destroy the footing. I don't have an indoor arena so I'm a slave to the elements. I can understand your frustration as to not have someone give you "eyes on the ground", it always helps to get a second opinion. It can also get very expensive to have lessons.
I hope spring comes soon for you so you can get back out there! Thanks for posting.

Lol, I agree! It has been so wet and the mud has been stealing my boots it's so deep. I almost went face first in the mud when one of my horses nearly dragged me trying to get to a dryer spot. I'll take the snow!

Finally renewed my APHA membership and nov-amateur cards this morning and talked to my barn owner about borrowing her trailer this summer so a few steps closer to showing this summer.

Now if I can finally actually get on my horse and start training we’ll be set. I’ve been to the barn a few times the last week or so and have only managed to get him brushed out before loosing steam. (Shedding so much hair!)