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CeffylDwr · Dec 24, 2018 3:37 PM

Back story. I'm adopted. Located my biological parents a year ago. Have managed to meet up with my bio mum, half siblings and grandmum. Have not yet met up with my da and his side of the family though we were trying to arrange something for next month for my/his birthday. I was so excited because it meant meeting him, his wife, daughters and my grandma.

Just found out grandma passed on to her next grand adventure in the wee hours of the morning today. I don't know the protocol for this, am I allowed to mourn someone I've never met or talked too? Or is that seen as bad form?

Oh... Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate Christmas.

sebeth204 · Dec 24, 2018 3:44 PM

However you feel about the situation is completely valid - nobody (who isn't a total jerk) is going to tell you you aren't allowed. If you didn't feel any particular way about her passing, that would be normal and ok. Feeling sad about her passing is also completely normal and ok - you may not have met her, but she's family and that means something.

I'm sorry for your loss, CeffylDwr. I wish the best things for you, and that you find peace. @};-

WingedEagel88 · Dec 24, 2018 3:53 PM

I am not adopted, but my mom's dad passed when she was little so I never meet him. I still get a little sad I didn't get a chance to know him. Your feelings are valid and no one can or should tell you how to, or how not to feel.

HollowbetheInk · Dec 24, 2018 3:59 PM

Even if you are mourning a missed opportunity more than a formed relationship, no one can or should tell you how to feel. I'm sorry for your loss.

FallenShadows714 · Dec 24, 2018 4:03 PM

This is one of those situations where no one can tell you how to feel, and anyone who tries to needs to take a good hard look at themselves. While you never met her, you are most certainly mourning over the lost chances to meet her, spend time with her, and get to hear the stories I’m sure she would have had to share. This is the hardest time to lose someone, whether you knew them well or only know of them through other people. So while you might not mourn in the traditional fashion (I’ll miss her cooking, family trips, etc) you are mourning in your own way, and that is 100% valid.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time, and I’m very sorry for your loss.

NxtLevelGlen · Dec 24, 2018 4:03 PM

Your feelings are always valid, of course you are “allowed” to mourn.
Light and positive energy to you~

CeffylDwr · Dec 24, 2018 4:06 PM

Thank you every one <3

Justa · Dec 24, 2018 5:08 PM

*hugs* Sorry for your loss, Ceffyl.

As for mourning, who cares if it's allowed? To paraphrase a really smart guy, I do not hold to that. I aim to misbehave.

CeffylDwr · Dec 24, 2018 5:17 PM

@JustaSaddletramp Shiny. Thank you

Justa · Dec 24, 2018 5:25 PM

@CeffylDwr ❤

MamaMiaStables · Dec 24, 2018 9:48 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm adopted as well. My biological father's dad passed right before I was supposed to meet him as well. I still felt the loss even if I didn't know him. You're allowed whatever feelings you have. Nobody can tell you you aren't allowed to feel that way, and they shouldn't try. *Hugs*

Warmest thoughts and big hugs.

SpryOfJune · Dec 24, 2018 10:53 PM

Sorry for your loss, Ceffyl. I'd certainly say it's okay to mourn one you've never met. You still have some feelings for them! Loads of hugs your way!

BestFriend · Feb 14, 2019 1:52 PM

Yes you are allowed to mourn. I am adopted as well. My boys lost their adopted grandmom even before they were born. I share my stories and show them pictures of her. My boys wish they could of met her. My oldest son looks just like her. She died a year before my oldest was born.

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