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I just got married last month so I might be able to give an idea of what it was like for me. It might not be the best advice but it's one viewpoint I guess. My husband and I planned our wedding in just under a year which was a little more rushed than I would have liked but it was a destination wedding so that made it a lot easier (this means I don't have too much credibility in the planning department lol). Just remember that it's only one day and that one day does not define your relationship and does not determine the future state of your marriage if it's not 100% perfect. With that said, it is such a fun day and a huge milestone so of course you want it to be great for both of you. I ended up making all of the decisions about flowers, decor, the photographer, the art, and other small details and together we decided to do dance lessons, planned out the menu, and picked out the music. He said he didn't have any opinions but it turns out he did and just didn't want to admit it. So what we did is pick out one day every two or so weeks where we blocked out one hour just to talk about wedding stuff. This way we could make sure our checklist was getting done in a timely manner and he could look over all of the things I picked out on my own. Then if he didn't like something, we'd change it! And then if one of us got grumpy about something, it was only one hour and we would be over it quickly and we wouldn't talk about wedding stuff the rest of the time. I know it sounds cheesy but we really did have to compromise on a lot of things. For example, I wanted pale peach chargers for the plates and he wanted cream chargers so we compromised and got marble patterned ones that we both liked!

As far as the food, it's pretty much impossible to get wedding food perfect so I wouldn't stress over it too much. We didn't even get to eat dinner on our wedding day because we were trying to visit with our guests and it seems unlikely that guests would care that much about what's on the menu. Some people will love what you serve and some won't and that will be the case no matter what you choose. :)

For the music, we made a spotify playlist together. At first we listened to some songs together at one of our biweekly wedding meetings and added some. Then I added some on my own and he added some on his own. Then we looked over the playlist together and anything we didn't both agree on got removed. We also had a do not play list. Our DJ did an excellent job with the spotify playlist and mixed in some other songs to keep everyone dancing. Our reception was amazing because of that and people were dancing the whole time!

Oh and as far as the "dictator" thing goes, if he wants a wedding it sounds like he'll either have to offer some opinions or you'll have to make all the choices on your own, right? These things don't book themselves! :)) Wedding planning is extremely stressful so it's helpful to make sure you're in a calm state of mind before you make any big decisions regarding wedding planning. We almost called it off so we could elope in Europe but I'm so glad we didn't! I sincerely hope it gets better for you and I hope your significant other begins to understand how important this is to you and that a little bit of kindness and sympathy goes a long way! I don't know if any of this is helpful at all but if you need to chat just message me! I just moved so I'm on here a lot these days. Big hugs!

Ok, so I have never planned a wedding, but my sister and mom planned a wedding with 200 people in 9 months. If they can do it, you can do it!

I think the idea of weekly meetings just to go over things is an excellent idea. Some of the things he might not care about, some things he will. The food though, people aren’t there for the food. My sister had two main options, steak and grilled chicken. It was buffet style (was easier with so many people), and people could just go up and pick what they wanted. There was rolls, salad, a potato and macaroni salad, and some typical sides. There was also a dessert bar along with the wedding cake.

For music, I know my sister did a playlist that her and her husband added to and went over together. They played a lot of music that people in their 20’s and 30’s would know, since they were the people who would do more dancing.

There wasn’t a ton decoration wise at the wedding, besides the tables and flowers. They both have had grandparents who have passed, so they did have their photographs displayed. (Probably a bit weird for some people, but family is extremely important to us and she felt it was important they “be there”).

Don’t stress, take a breath. It will all come together. As my dad is fond of saying, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Don’t throw away your relationship over one day. Use it as another bonding experience.

@Peninsula It sounds like both of you are getting pretty stressed, and handling it in different ways. I helped my sister plan her wedding last year as her maid of honor, and while I know it is a lot of rush and stress, my sister said her biggest regret was not taking the time to enjoy being engaged and have a little fun with the process. I also think it seems like he is overwhelmed, and taking a step back to breathe could help both of you

@Peninsula, I know, I want everything sorted out so I can just enjoy things, too--but if the day comes and he's looking around at all the choices made with any negative feelings left over, are either of you going to be happy? The sooner this is resolved, the more relaxed you can be. :)

Haltanny. we knew the date exactly 6 months from the date lol