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Hey everyone <3 I hope you are all doing well today. I don't usually share things like this because I am a very private person, but my doctor says I need to try to open up. I am not ready to talk to the people who I know in real life. I am just not there yet. I have random bouts of extreme anxiety, but I haven't had an issue with it since May or June. Until Saturday the 26th. I had a severe anxiety attack that kept me awake until 3am. That left me shaken enough, but then something else happened the next night, Sunday the 27th.<br />
My dogs started barking (not unusual, since they tend to bark at anyone walking on the sidewalk past my house) and I quietly told them to hush. They did, but my larger dog, my new girl Xnva (we adopted her on the 12th) went to the window and stood there growling quietly.

My son went to shoo her away from the window, but he stopped by the front door for a moment. Then he came over to me (at the computer) and quietly told me that he heard our gate open, then heard someone talking in front of the house. My husband was at work at that point, night shift, and we only have one vehicle. We also have light-blocking curtains (my eyes are very sensitive to bright light), which together makes it look like no one is home apparently. (We didn't realize this until after the fact and have remedied that by keeping the curtains open and the blinds closed)

I went to the door and listened. I heard a man talking to Xnva through the window. He was using words that told me he was trying to make sure she was friendly before he came in (his words). Our door does not have a peep hole so I couldn't see what he looked like. I unlocked the door and quickly opened it loudly just a little bit and then slammed it closed. He yelled swears and ran away, tripping over our fence (it is just one of those portable dog play pens that we stretched out to enclose the porch and front yard). He definitely didn't expect someone to be home.

I called the police and my husband came home from work, but I don't know what to do with myself now. My husband will have to go back to work tomorrow and resume his normal shift, which always has him away for part or all of the night. I don't have a dog anymore that would care if someone broke in to the house. I have a weapon I could defend myself and my children with, but that's all.

I am afraid to stay home in case someone breaks in, but I am afraid to leave too, because what if they break in and our pets get out of the house, or they steal my Papillon? My little dog is my life, and she doesn't like going in the car much.

I am a nervous wreck and the anxiety is making me ill. I tried talking to my doctor about it but she doesn't have the time for a phone call, and she's scheduling out two months right now.

Have any of you had to deal with something like this, not feeling safe in your own house, but also being afraid to leave? I tried to get better locks for the door but the way the moulding around the door is, you can't put anything there. We are going to get a security alarm, but I am afraid we will have a similar issue with the sensors. I just want to curl into a ball and disappear.