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MariaChapinFarm3 · Jun 20, 2021 4:57 PM

Edit: I broke into my stash of money and bought a test last night. It was positive! I’m having a baby ❤️

Hiya guys! It’s been a while since I made a post talking about really anything to do with my personal life, and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this so I figured I might as well ask you lovely people on HAJ. :3

I found the person I want to marry in December (we have been together nearly seven months). He treats me amazing.. he’s sweet, funny, and everything I could ever ask for. (On that front- if he doesn’t propose to me before, I plan on proposing sometime near our one year anniversary when we go to Japan together. ❤️)

Well.. there has been a slight bump in the road if you will. I haven’t had my period for nearly 38 days. I’ve been waking up feeling a bit nauseous, (it lasts throughout the day/comes and goes), I feel bloated, and have been using the restroom like mad.

I’m so scared. I was promoted to a five day a week (5 AM to 2 PM) opener position at my store, so I have the money part covered if I am.. you know.

But right now there’s a bad housing crisis, and I still live at home. (Been trying to find my own place for a year or so)

On top of that, my boyfriends parents are very Strict Christians, and I’m scared of how they will react if I am.

Is there anyone thats had a baby that I can PM for advice, or to just chat about this stuff? (Mind you I cannot take a test right now so I’m super nervous.)

How’s everyone else’s life going to far, is there anything exciting or new that anyone else wants to chat about? ❤️

BlaxkDiamond · Jun 20, 2021 5:11 PM

I’m open to talking with you and being there for you in whatever way you need. I don't have children myself but have come from a stricter Christian background, so could give you some insights on that account. :)

MariaChapinFarm3 · Jun 21, 2021 7:12 AM

@BlaxkDiamomd thank you, I really appreciate it. ❤️❤️ I uh broke into my stash of money and went and bought a test last night. It didn’t even take a minute to appear positive, and it was a really strong line too.

We are planning on waiting to tell his parents/my parents until we know if the pregnancy will last throughout the first couple months. How do you think I should go about telling them? :( I’m terrified that they would hate me-
1) I’m having a baby before we get married
2) im not super religious (even though I’ve mentioned that I would be more than happy to become Christian. ❤️)

I’m so scared.

HTRanch · Jun 21, 2021 9:30 AM

Congratulations on finding your person and on your pregnancy!

I grew up with "strict Christian" parents but have distanced myself from that culture/beliefs in adulthood. Although I don't have kids, I know the struggle of trying to navigate relationships with parents who might not agree with my choices - it is definitely scary sometimes. You are always welcome to pm me!

Seaswell · Jun 21, 2021 1:39 PM

Congratulations!

Here's a big hug, cause this is a life changing event.

I have kids, love kids, and have worked as a nanny for most of the last 30 years. My inbox is absolutely open to you at this time if you need to talk.

BlaxkDiamond · Jun 21, 2021 8:14 PM

Congratulations!

I sent you a PM. :)

MariaChapinFarm3 · Jun 22, 2021 10:16 AM

@HTRanch thank you ❤❤ I don't mean any disrespect by the parents, and I love them completely, but I want them to accept me and the baby and I'm kinda scared that they won't.:( they're really old fashioned sadly.

@Seaswell thank you! ❤❤ do you have any tips for first time parents? Lmfao :P how many kids do you have?

MariaChapinFarm3 · Jun 22, 2021 10:17 AM

I made my first ever baby appointment yesterday too! I can't believe it's actually happening. @-)

Seaswell · Jun 22, 2021 12:39 PM

My biggest advice is get as much rest as you possibly can. Pregnancy is hard on the body, and when the baby gets here it will be a couple years before you can really take a break. It's worth it, but it's hard.

Second thing. You need a crib, a high chair, a stroller, and a quality car seat. Most other baby furniture is just a money sink. Costs more than you will use it. Great as gifts, but not worth saving up to buy. Start buying diapers now. It never hurts to have a stash you can fall back on. You have at least 2 years of diapers in your future. Most of that time will be in size 3 or 4. You won't know until the baby gets here if you will start in size 0 or 1.

I have 2 grown boys. 21 and 26. I have assisted with raising 17 families, and I would need paper and pen to do the math on how many kids that comes up to. My first and second family are now parents themselves.

I highly recommend joining a mom group as your bump grows. The emotional support is so important and having friends going through the same thing you are will help in ways I can't describe.

Go with your partner to tell his parents. They may want to rush the wedding. Do what feels right to you. This is first and foremost your child's future you are planning. As a mom we face a lot of tough decisions. No one but your partner has the right to decide anything for you when it comes to your kids.

MariaChapinFarm3 · Jul 28, 2021 7:58 AM

Thank you all for the kind words, I’m sorry I haven’t really responded- I haven’t been spending too much time on the game anymore (sadly.)

Little update on the bean:

I’m nearly 11 weeks now, have the WORST morning sickness ever.. Ive been cramping quite a bit as well. I even lost a bit of weight, but I’m finally starting to gain a little more back- and I’m going in on the fourth to see pictures of babe and to potentially get a NIBT to tell it’s gender ❤️❤️

All of our parents know now. Mine was super excited to become a grandma, super supportive, and she cried a bit. My uncle has barely talked to me (he’s like a father), and my grandma was excited.

His parents.. were not as supportive, but I guess it wasn’t as bad as it could have been? They didn’t push marriage either, which I like (I do plan on marrying this man. I just want it to be on my own terms :-S).

Baby is healthy so far, mommas healthy. Everything is going perfectly fine, and I even have a couple job interviews today for positions that are less stressful and whatnot. I have an apartment lined up that would be perfect for us.

I’m still pretty scared.. I’m in charge of this little bean that’s growing inside of me. I’m so scared of messing up :(

Ammit · Jul 28, 2021 8:08 AM

Our daughter never had a crib. She had a bassinet when she was very small and when she was ready for her own room we just put her on a crib mattress on the floor which is the Montessori style. She loved it, it saved a ton of money, and I think made things easier and safer. Otherwise I second the above. You don't need most fancy baby stuff.

If you have a once upon a child we made judicious use of stuff from there. Also once you area ready put the word out that you are looking for hand me downs. There is always someone who knows someone with a high chair or stroller that needs a home. The car seat is really the only thing that should be purchased new (or acquired from someone who's kid only just grew out of it) as they have expiration dates.

As to his parents, hey it's their kid who got you pregnant. Not like you did this on your own. :D They will just have to get used to the situation.

Seaswell · Jul 29, 2021 12:14 AM

Here's hoping the morning sickness wears off soon. I'm glad you were able to talk to all the relevant family members. That is a load of stress you don't need to have hanging over your head.

I second Ammit's vote for mattress on the floor instead of a expensive toddler bed. My youngest never would sleep in the bed with a frame. I think he was 4 by the time he stopped being afraid to fall off in his sleep.

I'm rooting for you from over here.

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