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So my mother wasn't the best person, my three youngest sisters (18, 16, 13) were all adopted by the same family, thankfully. However the oldest found found me and reached out to me. I'm having a rough time with this because it does bring back alot of negative memories. Between raising these girls plus the 2 boys from a very young age, shielding them the best I could and ending up in the hospital numerous time etc. My mother cut me from my siblings, the only reason I stayed when I had my miscarriage at 18 weeks when I was 20. Then they got taken away, then adopted. I was told by their worker I was not allowed to find them until the youngest turned 18 so I was totally unprepared. It triggered my PTSD, which I thought was getting better. My poor boyfriend couldn't touch me last night. I absolutely panicked. I know my emotions are a little higher because of being pregnant and I love that she remembers me enough to want to have contact with me. I still feel like I failed them and thats the hardest thing for me to process. I'm not quite sure how to handle all of this. I can not have contact with the younger girls which is heartbreaking to be honest! There's just so much piled on top of everything and I feel lost.