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Hi, I have worked with, trained and ridden meny different horses over the years. Considering all that you have said. My own opinion is not to buy an ex race horse, but I know that some go on to be great happy horses, but never a good idea to take the risk, even if you have seen and ridden it. As you have that type of experience level you need something more than a schoolmaster. I would suggest, on what you have said. Get an ex polo pony. They are darlings to handle, and sensible but supper fast and fun to ride. And I don't think you or your friends would ever regret it. Just make sure to get one that has some crillo in its blood.
Really hope this helps and good luck with your first horsey friend :D

First off, dont rush.
Second, your heart just kinda knows when you find that horse.
My first horse was an unbroke paint gelding outta a sale. He was the best horse ever. I just know looking at him he was my horse. Not to say it was easy. I spent hours and hours working with him. There where times it was very tough and scary.

I have rode tbs on the track and off. I use to take few on to retrain along with sale horses and mustang. Some tbs just go right into new life as if they never raced. Other are very amded up and need alot of time to rest. I found to use pasture board with no stall unless you really really have to stall, really helps ottb mind. Horses arnt meant to be locked up in 12x12 box only to run a circle get a bath, then be locked up next 23hr. Their minds tend to unscrew after awhile of total boardem. Youll find most ottb have a odd thing they do or wont do. They need to be in a herd like every horse should be kept but they lost years of that. Keep that in mind because when she leaves the track her mind will be on over load. Just like if you kept in a room with no friends for years with nothing but good morning run then I come take you to mall. Its is whole new life. She could just jump right into like nothing or she may need alot time to get into.
Thats just the beginning of your work to.
Just toss in some normal race tb things, they normally get tracked up as they walk a circle, they get mounted as they walk, untracked at a walk. They know left, when you pull back, thats go fast to them. They dont have a good stop or back. Some of them have feet issuse form the pain of being wrapped wrong or abuse to get painful wrap. Alot jockeys have gogo shocker in their whips. So some tbs are touchy on their necks form that. Then also the food side. I seen alot racer get race ready feed at 4 to 5 scoops 2x aday with alfalfa hay. One bag grain has 15 scoops, race ready type cost about 18.00 a bag. She gonna need alot feed till her body switchs form hard work mod to a more normal mod. You start cutting her back as her body adjust to it. She may always need alot feed for life maybe not.
Not to scare you away but just stuff I learnt along the way. Something to think about.

With that in mind, what is your end goal of getting a horse? You looking for a weekend warrior or a every day rider? You like trails or looking to try some showing? Or you just want a arena ride? You want to train a horse or have the horse teach you?
How confident are you around untrained horses? Do you easily get uneasy if horse bucks, bolts, spooks, speeds up ect..? Or you need that rock hard steady horse thats always the same day to day?
At the end of the day. This is your choice. I always said to myself, there is always another horse to buy. This is your partner and your heart will just seem to know when you find that horse.

I must agree with everything everyone has already said. I am so sorry about that first horse :(
There are always more horses than buyers and you do need to see (and ride) that horse to know it's right for you. By buying unseen you risk so much and you are missing out on one of the greatest bits of horse buying. The horse also needs to like you - remember it's a partnership.
Good luck :)

First I’m so happy for you that you’re able to buy your first horse. I was in similar shoes as you last year, so I hope my advice can help you with your decision.

First I’d tell you friends that you feel like their trying to pick out your horse for you. I’m sure they probably don’t realize that you feel that way. It sounds like they’re really trying to help you and care about you.

Second I highly recommend purchasing the book Know Better To Do Better by Denny Emerson. It is a book written by an older man that has competed in eventing for many years. The reason I’m suggesting the book is because it has a very good chapter on how to go about purchasing a horse for yourself. It also goes over how he retrains his ottb. I don’t do three day eventing and probably never will, but it was a very helpful book.

Third see if your trainer knows of any horses for sale that would fit you. Or fi they’d be willing to go with you to look at a horse.

I’m going to ask you a list of questions, answer them to yourself truthfully. I don’t need to know the answer this is just for you.
1. What do you plan on doing with your horse? (Type of riding)
2. How many days a week are you going to ride?
3. How much ground work have you done with different horses? (A key piece of skills for training)
3. What is the least trained horse you’ve ever ridden consistently? (Did you have fun riding them?)
4. What is the favorite horse you’ve ever ridden, and what was his personality?

I know you like the three year old mare but, have you ever ridden a 3yr old horse? If you haven’t I highly recommend finding one someone will let you ride/work with. There is a big difference between an older horse and a young one.

I actually didn’t get to ‘pick’ my first horse. I had worked with a breeder all summer and that fall she told me she would give me a horse as payment. I could pick one of the weanlings, a two year old, or a green broke older mare. The weanlings were purebred Welsh ponies and the other two were morgen/welsh cross. I’m a taller person so It wasn’t a choice to me I picked the older green mare that I could actually ride. Well the next spring the owner changed het mind and said I could pick from the now yearling or the two year old. I didn’t feel cheated or anything, I just had to do some reordering of my heart and head. I picked the two year old, and the learning experience began. I had never trained a horse before my new filly and had never worked with younger horses before the summer before. That was a learning experience, we somehow made it out of that summer in one piece, and she was actually a decently green broke horse. (But the breeder was right, the older green mare would have been a nightmare for me to have. the mare literally has so much trama from a bad experience, she almost killed herself when someone picked up a saddle blanket.) Now my girl is 3 and has reached the teenager faze where she doesn’t want to do what she’s told. Its gotten very hard to work with her, sometimes I just want to have a nice easy ride down the road, and all she wants to do is run. All I want right now is a break from my too excited filly, and to ride a 13yr old steady eddy who I can have fun on, and not think about every move I make being training for hef and whether its good or bad. That’s the hard part about training a young horse everything you do means something and you don’t want them to learn bad habits.

My advice do what I didn’t do, and get a older well trained horse that you can have fun with. They will still teach you so much and when you get to the point you need a horse that’s more difficult, selling your older horse will be easy.