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WheatgrassFarm · Mar 17, 2019 7:33 PM

I've hit a crossroad. There are a couple of different things that I want to do, and I don't have the money or permissions to do them. So, I'll get you all up to speed on where I have gotten. I recently adopted two male rats who were part of an accidental litter from a friend of mine. Just two days ago, I finished setting them up a 2'x4'x6' cage (because they're my babies and deserve the world). I'm still allowed to get two more rodents, three small reptiles, and one large reptile (in addition to the dog, cat, rats, 2 snakes, and currently 80-90 fish). Recently, though, I've had a couple of opportunities come up.

First, one of my favorite horses in the world (Sherman) came up for sale, and although he's been a lesson horse for the past couple of years, he definitely has a lot of potential. He's a fat, ornery Haflinger, but I love him so much, and I could definitely see myself showing him, even though I'm not very interested in competitions.
Second, literally last night, one of the people I was working with said that they wanted to rehome their sun conure, and they want to do it quickly. I've wanted a conure for literal years, and have recently been doing a lot of research and preparations to get one later.

Do you see my problem? I haven't had the best record with grades, since my old school was a whole mess (but that's a different story), but since I started at my new school, I've been doing a lot better! I used to have all F's and one C, but now I'm up to a 50/50 mix of A's and B's!
My parents are saying that if I keep my grades up, they might continue looking into getting me a horse, which would be amazing, but I'm not sure if Sherman would be available then, still, and I know it sounds silly, but he's really the only horse that I would show on. Of course, I'd love a horse in general, but I probably wouldn't show.
The main wrench in the gears is the conure. I really want him, and if I could give up the two rodents, three small reptiles, and one large reptile (birds are reptiles, right?) for him, I 100% would. I'm just not sure what to do. I know I'm going to keep my grades on track, but I'm stressing out about whether I should stay on my main course and rescue this bird, who may not end up in a good situation, or if I should keep going with Sherman, who I know will find a good home. Or should I do both? I know that my parents would be footing the bill for a horse either way, as that's what they've said (extras on me, obviously), and I'd be paying for everything for the bird completely, as well, either way. Ugh! Loving animals is so hard!

HunterUnderSaddleGirl · Mar 17, 2019 7:41 PM

Yes, loving animals are for sure hard! I’m biased but I would for sure go for the horse! I have shown quite a bit, but I like to say riding is my passion, showing is my hobby. I would definitely talk to your parents. But if not, some horses take a while to sell anyway. I’m one that can fall in love with any horse, but I understand the frustration of wanting a certain one.

Dinascar · Mar 18, 2019 5:29 PM

It's difficult - I remember wanting all sorts of pets when I was a kid but mum said no to everything (except our one dog and even then I had to wait years) but now I have my own money and job and home, my life is full of animals (I decided animals rather than kids of my own!)- dogs, cats and horses. Luckily my husband shares my love (one of the reasons I married him!). It was worth the wait.
Parents know that they are the ones responsible for your pets ultimately.
Your folks are probably thinking if I get her the horse will she want an elephant next! Mind you, elephants are cute. :)
Good luck with everything x

FeldingFields · Mar 18, 2019 8:09 PM

So, two separate issues: Bird and Horse.

Bird: If you are willing to trade future pets for sun conure, and you've been doing research on them, I think it's worth broaching the subject with your parents. Be prepared to answer such questions as: How will you cover costs yourself? If you take a job, will you maintain your grades? Are you planning on college? Will birb be left at home? And so on.

Horse: Would your parents maybe consider a lease? Many of the instructors that have held to sell horses would consider reduced sale or a lease period if the horse went to someone they knew, locally, and that the horse got along with. Some may even consider a free lease (no charge for the lease, lessor responsible for all costs). I'm not saying all will, but it might be a compromise to look into with your parents.

And of course, you have to make the decision that this may be an either/or choice. Bird or horse. I don't want to make that decision for you - both would be long-term commitments that involve your own time and money. Know that every person has more than one heart horse though. While Sherman may seem like your perfect partner now, there may be another horse in the future if you have to pass him up.

WheatgrassFarm · Mar 19, 2019 2:07 AM

Thanks @FeldingFields.

As for the bird side, I already have a job. I have saved 3x any worst-case scenario for my current animals. I am planning on college, however, the college that I'm planning on going to has an animal behavior program where you can choose what animal to do your research on. I would have done one of my fish, but if I got a bird, I would switch to doing my research on him. If not,. then the college that I am going to has a rescue that I have already discussed working with, and they have a program for people who want to be with their animal, but can't keep them.

On the horse side, Sherman is at a barn that I have ridden at. Normally, I would consider a lease, as I would likely board him at the facility he's currently at, but they don't really want to use him in lessons any more. Apparently, they don't have any students who can handle him.

I'm still unsure of what to do. I agree that the Sherman situation is much less dire, but at the same time, I have a better chance with it.

Bourbon · Mar 20, 2019 12:08 PM

I would probably go for the horse over the bird. I'd definitely see if you could get a lease with an intent to purchase him and see if you know someone confident enough who would want to lease with you.

You have a better relationship with the horse than the bird, as much as you'd love to have a sun conure there's always opportunities in future to get them. I think this way them and african greys are one of the most frequent birds in rescues. Plus having a bird which is rehomed you'll have to build up a new relationship and set a lot of time aside for that animal. Probably more than I'd say for the horse at least.

Also you need to take into account your parents home and how the bird would be in that environment. My friend got an african grey parrot in university and he near enough destroyed her bedroom which was the only room he was eventually allowed to be in the house. She still has him and he's 6 but damn, it's put me off birds for life.

BlaxkDiamond · Mar 20, 2019 8:49 PM

It’s your decision ultimately. But I will say stick to your long term goals, and don’t let smaller desires mess with long term goals. Something that might help is making a list of goals you have. Both long term and short term and putting a priority level on each one.

Example I’ve wanted a horse since I was 5, last spring I finally got a filly. I’ve also always wanted a dog for years, and I seriously considered getting a puppy last summer. But decided against it, because I was training my horse, starting a career, planning a wedding and about a million other important things. Now months later I’m considering it again, but have also decided against it. Because I’m still training my grass green filly, continuing my career, and learning how to be married. There is no room in my life for another responsibility. I will get a puppy of my own eventually, but probably not until my mare is at least well trained. For me a puppy is less of a priority to me than my marriage, my horse, and my career. So none of those things will get put on a back burner for a puppy.

I hope that helps you make a decision.

WhiteMountain · Apr 4, 2019 4:30 PM

Bird or horse? Grades.
At this point in your life-- still in high school, your main focus shoukd be learning alll you can and setting good habits for work and study. Those will serve you well in the future, and when you are on your own, you can do whatever you like with animals.
Just focus an a small, easy to keep animal for now, and dream. The truth is, the more animals you have, the more responsibility you have. You don't need a lot of external responsibilities now... You are still developing your self.

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