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EasternShowBarn · May 11, 2018 12:04 AM

If poison expires, is it more poisonous or less poisonous?

Share your favorite joke or funny statement so we all can have a laugh!

SummertreeFarms · May 11, 2018 12:19 AM

Arr arr arr.... /:)

(could you move this to the General discussion category?)

EasternShowBarn · May 11, 2018 1:44 AM

Moved

Haltanny · May 11, 2018 3:02 AM

My grandpa's favorite joke: "What's the difference between a duck?"

"One leg is both the same."

levesel2 · May 11, 2018 5:36 AM

If a pregnant lady goes swimming, does that make her a human submarine?

SandycreekFarm · May 11, 2018 1:54 PM

Conversation between my father and mother on seeing a truck labeled Acorn Press:
Father: What do you get when you press acorns?
Mother: Oakmeal, of course.

SummertreeFarms · May 11, 2018 4:16 PM

This is going to be one huge eye roll thread. I can just see it now! :))

CrewCut · May 11, 2018 4:25 PM

oakmeal

=))

EasternShowBarn · May 11, 2018 7:40 PM

=))

JheydaStables · May 11, 2018 7:42 PM

The one I told my parents in 5th grade to this day still cracks them up.

Why did Tigger go look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

CWScowgirl87 · May 11, 2018 11:08 PM

Lol Jheyda :))
My favorite joke to tell when I was three-ish was: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Becauthe he wath feeling crummy.
(The lisp must be included to get the whole feeling)

Lallyhop · May 12, 2018 8:05 PM

My favorite horsey joke - it's a bit of a story!

There once was a man whose lucky number was five. He was born on the fifth day of the fifth month, in 1955, at 5:55 pm.

Well, on his 55th birthday, he went to the races. When he got there, he realized that in the fifth race of the day, which was running at five o' clock, there was a horse named Pentagon, who was number 5. Furthermore, the odds were 55 to 1 on this horse. The man quickly checked his bank account, and saw that his current balance was $5,555.55. He withdrew everything and bet it on the horse.

The horse, of course, came in fifth.

SummertreeFarms · May 12, 2018 8:59 PM

In St. Louis the Halloween tradition is that kids tell a joke to get their candy. When I first moved here I had no clue and someone told me to ask the kid for their joke, so I did. The first ever Halloween joke I heard was:

What goes; clip, clop, clip, clop, BANG! clip, clop, clip, clop, BANG!?

An Amish drive by shooting!

Xceptional · May 13, 2018 5:14 AM

:-))

Seaswell · May 13, 2018 6:16 AM

What does a fish say before it runs into a cement wall?

Dam!

SandycreekFarm · May 13, 2018 12:39 PM

:))

EasternShowBarn · May 29, 2018 3:26 PM

~:>

Justa · May 29, 2018 8:30 PM

Y'all are awesome. :3

Firebrand · May 31, 2018 1:33 AM

Two muffins are sitting together in an oven. The first muffin says, “it sure is hot in here.” The second muffin says, “holy s***! A talking muffin!”

HTRanch · May 31, 2018 2:58 AM

Q: How does a squid go into battle?

A: Well armed.

HunterUnderSaddleGirl · May 31, 2018 5:31 AM

A blonde goes in to buy a pizza. The man asks her if she would like the pizza cut in 6 slices or 8 slices. She replies "6 slices please, I don't think I could eat 8 whole slices of pizza today".

SandycreekFarm · May 31, 2018 12:06 PM

:D

My paternal grandparents were prominent members of the Baptist church in their small village in upstate New York. When my father's oldest brother was 2, the circuit riding preacher came to lunch at my grandparents' house after the service. During the meal, as the old family story goes, he suddenly stood up in his high chair. Naturally, his parents soundly scolded him for such improper behavior. He promptly defended himself, "But I'm only taking a Christian stand!"

I was never told what happened after that. :)

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